September 11, 2001 - September 11, 2006

Well, the big day is approaching tomorrow - the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. It's weird thinking back to that day not only because of the incredible tragedy and shock of the day, but also because I can remember every part of that day so vividly. I guess 9/11 is to my generation what the Challenger disaster was to my sister's and the Kennedy Assassination was to my mother's.

Then, I was working third shift for Hotwire, which, by the way, had several customers on both American Flight 11 and United flight 175, the two flights that crashed into the North and South Towers of the World Trade Center . When I got done in the morning on the 11th, I came home and went right to sleep, just like any other morning after work. My husband took my daughter to school and watched CNN like he always did. None of us had any clue that that day would become one of the most impactful moments in modern American history.

Just an hour or so after falling asleep, my husband woke me up telling me I had to come watch the news. All I heard through my sleepy haze was, "tv...explosion...New York...now!" Now, my husband never woke me up because I usually have sleep problems that make it hard to fall and to stay asleep, so I was pretty angry. But, I got up anyway just about 7:50 a.m. (CST), thinking malicious thoughts as I dragged myself to the living room. What I saw was unbelievable.

The North Tower of the World Trade Center, a building I had honestly never thought about since the 1994 attack, was on fire with huge plumes of smoke billowing from what looked like the top quarter of the building. It was craziness, absolute craziness - was New York being bombed? was there another terrorist attack ? was it some type of missile accident or airplane crash? No one knew, though CNN anchors tossed out some carefully-worded guesses.

Meanwhile, my husband and I were glued to the tv set. We couldn't figure anything out either. But, we began to realize that we were in for a long, anxious day when we saw the breaking news clip of a plane crashing into the South Tower! I remember the chills that went through my whole body - I couldn't believe what I was seeing. We started to worry about my husband's sister who taught school right near the World Trade Center! He immediately called, but was unable to get through. All the circuits were busy with what must've been thousands of other concerned friends and relatives trying to confirm their loved-ones' whereabouts and safety.

Then, to add to the tense, unreal feeling, CNN broadcast what I'm sure they thought was debris falling away from the building only to find out that it was actually people jumping from the building and falling to their deaths!

And the fear, shock, and eerieness just kept on building as CNN reported that there was another attack - this time on the Pentagon! At this point, with the President flying in Air Force One somewhere over the U.S., I really started to wonder if we were at war - some sneak attack perpetrated by any number of countries, nations, and factions that hated the U.S.A.

Unbelievably, there was yet another plane that was overtaken by terrorists. This one crash landed in Shanksville, PA, supposedly on its way to a Washington, D.C. target. We've all heard about the heroism of those on board United flight 93, but, thinking back to that day at that moment, we were just thankful that the plane didn't make it to its intended target. I don't even think I could wrap my mind around the innocent victims on any of the planes or in the damaged buildings. We were just astounded that what was happening kept happening. It felt like it would never stop...that next we would hear of a plane destroying the Statue of Liberty or hitting the Sears Tower in Chicago.

We refused to stop watching the news, flipping from channel to channel in case some other channel had an exclusive. We watched all day and night, wondering what possibly could happen next. With live tv coverage on CNN (and every channel under the sun), it was hard to step away for a moment because you never knew what might happen next or where!

It was heart-rending as the day progressed and we began seeing the friends and families of missing people tearfully pleading for any information about their missing loved ones. I watched the news until 10:30 p.m. when I finally had to go to work. Coming into the office was surreal too. Working at a travel agency, the stress level was always high because travelers always needed to make it somewhere in a rush.

When I arrived, there were tvs out on the 'floor' and tuned to CNN, something that was unheard of, but given the circumstances of the day, perfectly expected and somehow comforting. As a supervisor, I was updated immediately on the situation from a customer viewpoint. Of course, by this point, all flights were grounded, with no anticipated time or date when the FAA would lift the order. The phones were eerily silent, with absolutely ZERO complaints that flights were delayed or that people were stuck in another city when they had to be somewhere else. Then, my manager let me know that the day shift had been bombarded with calls from friends and family members of passengers we had on pretty much all of our flights, especially the early morning flights.

It was then that I found out that we had so many passengers on American Flight 11 and United Flight 175, the flights that hit the Trade Center. What made things even more depressing was knowing that at least two passengers had specifically re-booked to get on American Flight 11 because they were in a rush to get home. The tears just welled up in my eyes as I heard the facts and I could barely stay for my whole shift. The next weeks at work were just unbearable because of 9/11. Everyone was a combination of angry, frustrated, sad, and anxious - passengers, customer service reps, and airline reps.

I wish that there were some easy end to this story, but that never happened. In fact, we're still feeling the reverberations of the attacks. Not only with the war in Afghanistan or in Iraq (or on "Terrorism" if you believe that bunk), but also the fact that so many of us re-live 9/11 every year.

I, myself, worry that something like this will happen again in America. What really scared me was learning of the foiled terrorist plot to bring liquid explosives on UK flights to America. I was glad it was prevented, to be sure, but what scared me more was that they were still trying to get at us. Who knows if there is another terrorist plan in the works or where it might unfold.

The bottom line is that none of us is ever 100% safe and that no one can escape the death that awaits them, whether it's from natural causes or from a diabolical terrorist attack. I never want to regret my life, my decisions, or my words should any unexpected death befall me. So, I try to begin each day with a clear conscience and a postive outlook, to live that day the best way that I know how and to try to make a difference (even if it's only a small difference), and to end it with loving words to my loved ones.

So, this discourse is dedicated to all the people who perished in the 9/11 attacks, to all those who are surviving it to this day, and to all of my loved ones, whom I could not live without.