Another day, another dollar

Whining again (though, it still technically counts as writing, right?) about work...

Here I am with a perfectly good job -- nearly making a decent wage. So, why is it that I still complain about what's wrong with my job instead of what's right with it? Is it my incessant perfectionism? That I cannot tolerate a job that is anything short of perfect? Or that I cannot help but deconstruct everything about the job so that nothing remains meaningful or worthwhile?

I used to leave jobs whenever the irritation boiled over so much or so often that I would be actively looking for ways to avoid work. Made sense to me - after all, if I hated a job so much that I didn't even want to be there, then that really wasn't the career path for me, was it? Leaving a job (after a day, after three weeks, after a couple months...) became so commonplace that my brother used to say to me, after I told him I left one job, "Why'd you leave, Heidi? Didn't like the wallpaper?"

He probably wasn't too far from the truth. Granted, my reasons were never that ludicrous, but they were definitely borderline lame. Now it seems that I've moved past this problem (read as: excuse not to persevere), I seem to have developed a rather terrible habit of whining about work.

It's not even the work itself I don't like. It's when people don't know what they're doing (despite being told repeatedly) and their idiocy or laziness affects my job. I don't like to be weighed down with extra work that could easily have been avoided had someone else put an ounce of pride into their own work. I have zero patience for that. I also cannot stand when people ask me the same dumb question over and over again. Now, mind you - I don't have a problem with an honest question (i.e., one that is asked after the questioner has done some basic thinking or research). I welcome them. What I absolutely detest is being asked (or expected!) to think FOR someone else. UGH.

Boy, I sure am crabby about things. Can you tell I am having some major annoyances at work? Oh well, I do try very hard to self-talk my way into pacification - it just doesn't always work so well (and certainly not always quickly!).

Back to my first point - why am I so annoyed with work when all I should be is thankful that I am working at all? Is it possible to be annoyed for 40 hours a week and still be grateful for being allowed at least to be getting paid for the week? Perhaps I will never be that kind of person. Perhaps I will forever be dissatisfied with imperfection.

Maybe that's the point. And maybe that's not such a bad thing...